How To Overcome Social Anxiety

Have you ever heard of the term "social butterfly"? It actually originated in the early 20th century, comparing sociable individuals to butterflies. It became popular in the 1920s to describe outgoing, charismatic and socially active people. Which actually makes sense because butterflies are pretty and fly from flower to flower, just like someone who goes from one conversation to another gracefully.

But guess what? Butterflies probably don't get nervous about talking to other butterflies! For many of us, though, social gatherings can feel more like a crowded playground at recess than a butterfly fluttering around a garden. Talking to new people can be confusing, looking people in the eye can feel scary, and giving a presentation might make you want to run and hide.

If you find yourself relating to this a little too well, don't worry! Social anxiety is a real thing, but the good news is, you're not alone. Here are your top 3 tips on how to overcome social anxiety and be more confident!

1. Baby Steps

   Trying to go from a wallflower to life-of-the-party overnight is never a good idea. That will just overwhelm us and then we’re back to square one. We can just start small, like a friendly “good morning” to our barista the next time we’re getting coffee or taking 5-10 minutes to chat with our coworkers during a break. It might be a minor win, but hey, a win's a win right?

2. Shift The Spotlight

   Social anxiety can make us overly self-conscious, so focused on our ‘flaws’ that we forget about the other person entirely. Instead, we can try asking open ended questions such as "What did you have for dinner" with simple follow up questions like "what is your top 5 place for [food name]?” People love talking about themselves, so let them lead and conversations will flow. Over time, as we get more comfortable, we’ll be able to mirror them and be the person leading the conversation instead.

3. Breathe

   Sometimes, we get comfortable with speaking in social settings, but out of nowhere, we feel a wave of anxiety. It’s okay, it happens. In this situation, deep breathing exercises and mindfulness techniques are our secret weapon. Take a deep breath and find 5 things we can see/hear/smell/touch/taste, this is called 5 senses grounding technique. It helps our mind to focus on the present and be more mindful. Remember the famous quote "this too shall pass” because it will always pass. We can use these techniques until we feel back in control and go on with the conversation.

Remember, social butterflies weren't born that way, they learned to embrace conversation. You can too!

If you want to start overcoming your social anxiety and learn how to socialize better with people, Skills Hub offers FREE online classes that guide you through how to interact with small group discussions. Get real-time feedback and tips from our experienced teachers! Click here to register today!

Source: Writer was an anxious girl who turned into a very extroverted social butterfly.